The other day a friend of mine sent me a post on some junior-businessman’s form speculating about how God would fare as an entrepreneur. While I can’t share the original post for privacy reasons, I can show you all my response, which I think shows the practical value of taking a Hebrew Bible class and going to church five times a week every week for ten years:
God would've been a terrible entrepreneur. Yeah, banging out heaven and earth in seven days is impressive, but after a promising start he'd have to answer to investors on a number of difficulties, including:
- Employee mistreatment (God forbids Adam and Eve from eating the Apple of Truth, even though it teaches them marketable skills such as wearing clothes).
- Major project setbacks (God goes through the trouble of creating all of humanity, then changes their mind and wipes out nearly everyone and everything with a flood, then changes their mind again, and all we get from all that trouble is a rainbow now and then).
- Negligence (God just sorta forgets about Hebrew in slavery under the Egyptians for about four hundred years).
- Workplace discrimination (Leviticus lays out harsh and illegal bans against gay men, those with tattoos, those wearing clothes of mixed fabric, and the uncircumcised. Also, "No one whose testicles are crushed or whose penis is cut off shall be admitted to the assembly of the LORD" (Deuteronomy 23:1), which is just plain cruel to people already down on their luck).
- Flagrant nepotism (Isn't it a little convenient that God's one and only son just so happens to be the Redeemer and Holy One of Israel?)
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