Some Dreams I've Had

For some reason, I've been having very intense, vivid, and memorable dreams since getting back from college. Here are a couple of the best:

- ISIS hosted the Midwest Indoor Conference Championship and didn't do a very good job of it.
- I ate a hotdog with pot inside of it, then had to go to a film screening where Queen Elizabeth the First was in attendance. Because Queen Elizabeth is a real anti-drug zealot, I had to try extra hard to hide that I was high, which turned out to be very hard. I've never actually been high before, and my subconscious seems to think that it mostly consists of vomiting, making siren noises, and shouting inane comments about sixteenth century British policy within earshot of the woman who created said policy.
- I got a really nice dorm, but in return I had to sign a contract that I would never snitch on the mob. I had absolutely no moral qualms about doing so, which is sort of troubling now that I think of it.
- I went to the Edina Art Fair, but this time the art was much better and some of the tents could eat you, so it sort of broke even.
- My family had a horror story writing competition, and each story had to be inspired by something you found in a basement. My brother Luke's story was inspired by the copy of Frankenstein that he found in the basement in a very literal sense, meaning that he just copied it word for word. He won.
- It turned out that the third amendment, which bans soldiers from demanding shelter in anyone's house, didn't apply to Grinnell, so I had to let a redcoat stay on my couch. He spent all his time trying to talk me into a computer science major.
- I found out that all of the people from my New York Writers Institute class had been living in a van together ever since I left them last summer. I wasn't sure if I was jealous that they hadn't invited me, or concerned because the van was in really bad shape and it seemed like they were only living there because they were on the run from someone.