Longtime readers of the run and lower-tier runners of Grinnell Men’s Cross Country will remember the hellfire sermon I gave at the LaCrosse Invitational last year. Well, I gave another performance this week at the Central College Invitational. Some background: instead of actually running the race as a race, we were just using it as an easy-to-moderate level workout. Also, there had been forecasts of severe thunderstorms all day and we were sure the race would be rained out, but instead there had just been a light drizzle. I’ve got no clue why I chose to write it with line breaks, it’s not a particularly poetic speech.
Look above you, men!
There is a storm a-brewing!
Not a storm of thunder piercing the earth,
Or of floodwaters drowning the streets,
Or of wind picking up men like blades of grass
And dashing them upon the ground.
No, the storm above us, the storm of this meet,
Is really just a couple of dark clouds
That look like they could do some damage
But only really sprinkle a little bit
And can only be called a storm by a very loose definition.
This is the trial set before us, men!
We must run with patience! And reasonableness! And keep a conservative pace!
If we succeed, we’ll only have reached, like, half our potential,
And have met very low expectations.
But do not rage against the storm, men!
Do not yearn for suffering and sacrifice and hard-won victory!
For, at the end, we will have technically run a race
Without actually doing any work.
And that’s pretty cool too, don’t you think?
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